The #1 Way to ‘Let it Go’

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OK, OK, I hear ya.  A few posts back I gave you the answer to how to stop struggling by creating inspiration.  The answer was this: the minute you’ve recognized the thought that is creating the struggle, just let it go.

I got a lot of emails asking me “How do you do that?”  By the way, I’d love it if you’d ask these wonderful questions in the comments section of the post so that I can answer here on the blog and everyone can access my answer instead of just one person, capisce?

So here it is:  The number one way to “let it go” is to GO GENERAL.  To stop the forward momentum of a negative recurring thought (you know the one(s) right? That one…that just came to mind!), once recognized, and that’s key, is to think a less specific thought.

Here’s an example.  One of my recurring thoughts that keeps me struggling is “it has to be perfect”.  When I write these posts, create courses, choose webinar discussion topics, or am about to give a talk or speech, I want it to be perfect.  This often stops me from getting it done.  Projects take longer than they need to and I’m never truly satisfied.  But I have identified this as a negative, recurring thought.  After I recognize this thought again (and again and again) I GO GENERAL.  I don’t think about how to stop this thought or even change this thought.  I GO GENERAL.

I look at my dogs and focus on how awesome they are.  I look out the window and see the blue sky and appreciate how lucky I am that it’s a pretty day.  I wash the dishes.  I call my mom.  I do something to take my focus to a general and non-specific place, especially around the “perfectionist” conversation.  I do something, anything, to slow or stop the forward momentum of that particular unworkable thought.  I GO GENERAL.

By simply engaging in the process repeatedly once the thought is recognized – again that’s the key – this practice is your beginning to stop struggling, by letting it go, therefore slowing that momentum, bringing in a clearing for inspired creativity.

Got it?  Broken down, I’m sure you’ll agree this is a LOT simpler than the persistent struggle and rat-on-a-wheel thinking that keeps most of our creative community in “starving artist” mode.

It’s starts with your thinking!  Feel free to let me know your thoughts on this subject in the comments section below.  I’d also love for you to share how you might GO GENERAL the next time you recognize a negative recurring thought.  Here’s to your inspired ACTion!

How to Go From Unmotivated to Motivated Quickly.

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I’m glad you asked! The truth is, staying motivated is very difficult for most actors.  We deal with on-going rejection, slow results, stretches of time without paying work and more.  What’s the difference between the actors who are able to stay motivated and those who don’t?  It comes down to one primary factor…

It actually boils down to only three letters and one word: Why?

Many actors are unmotivated because they don’t have a why that resonates with them. They don’t have a REASON for being motivated. Yes, you’re talented and creative but so are many, many other people in the world who are not pursuing an acting career. When I ask many of my coaching clients the question why they want to be an actor for a living, they simply don’t have a good answer.  At least not “good enough” to keep them motivated when times are tough.

The Law of Momentum states that a body in motion will tend to remain in motion and a body at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by an outside force.

This means you’ve got to get yourself moving in the direction you want! And that’s why you’ve got to have your why. You need to have your reason for why you want to do what you’re doing.

This can relate to not only your acting career but also your health, relationships, changing cities, and changing jobs; it could be about anything, but the bottom line is you’ve got to have a clarified why.

Jim Rohn once said, “The bigger the why, the easier the how”, meaning that if we have a good enough reason or a good enough purpose for doing something, the how will come. You’ll get it done and it doesn’t have to make sense.

Scientists have done research on this because of the extreme creative ability that we have to motivate ourselves in times of need – meaning the why or the reason.

Miracles can happen when you have a big enough why. You’ve heard those stories about people who have lifted the weight of an entire car off of a loved one by themselves?  They were motivated!  That’s a HUGE why.  What’s yours?

Why is what you want important to you? Why is money important to you? Why is acting important to you? Why is making money acting important to you?  I mean, after all, you could have a great income producing job in another sector and act in community theater, right?

People ask me this question all the time. They say, “Lisa, you’ve shared a lot of your early struggles and searches for more fulfillment, even once or twice saying you wanted to quit Act Outside the Box. Why didn’t you give up?”

The answer is because I had a bigger why than any struggle or obstacle that I could entertain or have come over me. My why, although not overly enlightened, was very simple back in the day: I had something to prove to someone, though won’t say who.

I needed to prove that they were wrong when they told me I’d never amount to anything and that I’d be broke and begging them for help, support and/or money.  I was shamed by them and spoken to in ways that when I think about it today, still twist my gut in knots.  So my WHY was huge.  Success is the best revenge.  I’d never give up.

Again, it wasn’t very enlightened because that why came from fear, even though it was a great motivator! Once I started getting an education in the Law of Attraction and awareness of what truly matters most to me in life, my why turned into something different.

I wanted to be able to do what I wanted with my time, my energy and my life. I didn’t want to have to be beholden to anyone or anything and I just wanted to be free.  All I wanted was freedom to travel, create, contribute, be with family and friends on my schedule…so that became my new why.

Let me give you one more clue here about your why, because it’s one of the most important things you can ever do. First, your why should have two sides to it. First is you. What is this doing for you? Why for you? Second, your why has to be bigger than you.

It’s why for yourself and then why for something bigger than you, whether it’s your community, your family, your team, your country or a charity or a wellness situation.

If you have those two why’s, one for yourself and one to help others or the world, you’ll be motivated.

Without a why, you will be unmotivated. It’s as simple as that.

So I’ll ask you again: what is your why? Why do you do what you do? Why do you want to be successful? Why do you want a great relationship with your family, friends, or significant other? Why do you want freedom? Why do you act? Leave me a comment below, I would love to hear from you!

Career Transformation in a Flash

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People often ask me, “what is the most effective technique for transforming my career quickly?” OK the truth is, they don’t really ask this exact question but the bottom line is that what they mostly want to know is how to get what they want in this biz faster and easier.

Well I gotta say that after years and years of research, my best answer is to just be a little kinder. What? Huh? No seminar or course or pathway or step by step plan to follow? Bummer. Not really. It’s a lot easier than you think.

This is the paradox of the power of kindness. It doesn’t feel powerful at all. In fact, it almost feels too simple to be important. It’s actually the #1 thing that can transform your career and indeed your entire life. And in the business of show, I say it’s a secret weapon to get where you want in your career faster and with ease.

How can that be? Because simply put, kindness is the foundation of a good heart and with a good heart…a good life will follow. You are a giver of gifts in the form of your talent, but if your good heart isn’t in it, I fear you have a tough climb ahead.

Have you ever practiced random acts of kindness? It was a big thing awhile back and I started this practice when it was a trendy and loved it so much it’s now a part of my everyday existence. Try it!

Buy a movie ticket pass and give it to the girl that makes your coffee at Starbucks. Take out your neighbor lady’s trash. Take that flyer from the guy on the corner with a big smile and a thank you instead of charging by with your head down. Pick up the garbage someone just tossed at the can ahead of you and missed. Keep some quarters handy to put in people’s expiring parking meters. My personal favorite is to clean a public bathroom I’m using by picking up toilet paper and paper towels off the floor and putting them in the trash where they belong or mopping up water around the sink.

Practice kindness toward others, but don’t leave yourself out! Take a bubble bath. Buy yourself some fresh flowers. Get that doo dad or gadget that you’ve been wanting but denying yourself for whatever reason.

But how does simply being kind impact your career so that your transformation from talented unknown to rising star happens gracefully and easily? How can it not? This is a business built on relationships where it’s all about who you know and who knows you. Creatives want to work with people they not only know, but also like, trust and who are genuinely nice. It’s pretty simple really. Just be kind!

Attitude Check

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You‘ll be faced with a thousand obstacles in this career, many over which you have absolutely no control. Didn’t get the agent you submitted to? Can’t seem to get a call back or haven’t gotten any auditions from your online submissions lately?  None of those are under your control.

Researching and attending an open call audition, submitting to 6 agents, doing your best work at the call back…those things are under your control.

But you have to know the difference…and when you figure that out you’ll be able to see there is always and really only one thing that you are in complete and absolute control of – your attitude.

Attitude is a choice. When you surrender control of your attitude to what seems to be a negative situation, you will react to that situation. More often than not, the reaction is a not so cool over-reaction. On the other hand, if you could keep your cool, you’d respond to the situation appropriately, creating a winning situation. What do I mean by this?

Attitude is such an important word and very few people truly understand it.

To be honest, it wasn’t until I was in my late 20’s when I finally understood its full impact. All through my teens and into my early adult life, I can’t tell you the number of times that I heard, “Lisa, if you’d just change your attitude, you would be a lot better off.” In retrospect I can easily see the cause of my problem. I didn’t know what attitude really was, let alone know how to change it! Looking back I’m fairly certain my search to find working solutions to my problems is what began my life-long obsession with learning.

Attitude is the composite of your thoughts, feelings and actions. Your conscious mind controls feeling and ultimately dictates whether your feelings will be positive or negative by your choice of thoughts, then your body displays those choices through action and behavior.

Thoughts = Feelings = Actions = Results

I’ve said it over and over and over in my seminars, workshops, coaching programs and will continue to in these posts.

I hope taking control of your attitude begins a magnificent journey in pursuit of you having everything you want.  But you’ll have to wisely choose your attitude to gain some altitude!

Now tell me some of your favorite stories where attitude has come into play with regard to your career.  Good and bad, there are lessons to be shared!

The Golden Rule of Your Career

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Having confidence in yourself and that the path you’ve chosen is the Golden Rule in your career.  If you don’t have it, how can you expect your talent agent, a casting director or other industry players to have the confidence to hire and work with you?

We all have moments of doubt about whether we can truly achieve our dreams, hopes and goals, and that’s OK, but only for a moment! This can, and most likely does, happen in other areas besides your show biz career…your physical body and attractiveness to others, your ability to provide for your basic needs and for the needs of your family, and even simply having the confidence to speak the truth about a situation.

A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But true confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves.

True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has attributes embedded in it which are the hallmarks of the ability to reach your wildest dreams with speed, ease and power.

Want to build your confidence easily without struggle or effort? Practice confidence by giving and receiving acknowledgment. How to do that powerfully?  Take on this confidence affirming and fun exercise:

The next time you’re in public (at a class, audition, a store, walking down the street) and with someone who you don’t know, offer a genuine compliment.  “I love the color of your sweater.  You look great in it”.  Or, “great smile!” or “you have a great way of doing that”. Then just keep moving.  You’ll probably notice their attitude shift, sometimes “puffing up” with gratitude or even a stunned silence.  It doesn’t really matter which as you’re not doing it for the reaction, you’re doing it to offer your words and yourself authentically with confidence, expecting nothing in return.  Move on, feel good and let it go.

The other half of this exercise is to receive a compliment with confidence, offering nothing in return but a “thank you”.  The next time someone says “great scene work” or “I love the color of your sweater, you look great in it”.  Simply say “thank you” and move on, again, feeling confident and feeling good.  Why?  Too many people deflect compliments, making excuses like “oh, this old thing”? Or “it’s nothing”, or some other self-deprecating remark.  It actually steals the thunder of the person who offered the compliment. It undermines their confidence.

See both sides?  Practice this simple giving and receiving of compliments today, tomorrow and the rest of the week.  Without knowing how it works, by the end of the week your confidence will rise significantly.  Cool or cool?

I’d love to hear your comments here, especially after you’ve done this exercise!  Thanks for sharing your experience.  It’s truly inspiring!

The Answer is INSPIRATION

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Just like the struggle I discussed giving up in my last post, I also gave up effort.  I used to think that consistent daily effort without all the negative mindset and emotions that struggle brings was all that it takes.  Since then I’ve added effort-less-ness into this delicious mix.

I had to realize over the years that my thinking about effort and struggle as a necessity was off base, not helpful to my goals, and filled with mistakes. So with no efforting and no more struggle, what’s the switch I flipped to move in the right direction with grace and ease?  Inspiration.

Inspiration is often looked at as observing something outside yourself that moves you. Actors and audiences alike are inspired when watching great performances, which stirs something deep inside and that excitement causes a response, an action, a desire to duplicate what you’ve seen or even create something different and unique.  However, I’ve come to realize after much examination and practice that true inspiration is created, organic, and comes from within.

So how do you create inspiration?

The first step is awareness. When you are aware of a negative recurring thought you’re having, take a moment to reflect how it’s holding you back today. This thought is most likely years old and has quite a hold on you, and being on the look out and on purpose about identifying these persistent negative thoughts is key.

Once you’ve realized you’re having this thought, just let it go. YES, you can let it go. It will most likely come up again later today, and tomorrow and later this week. When it does, let it go. It’s a process, never ending, but eventually it gets better and easier to identify and let go.  When you’ve got the grasp of this you will begin to replace the negative thought(s) with a blank slate with which inspiration and creativity are naturally occurring.

Many times we don’t even realize so many of the things that are holding us back. After years, or even decades, they become invisible to us. Today you have a decision, a choice.

You can stay with struggle and effort or move closer to inspired actions that bring you greater fulfillment, greater calm, and better results. Which will you choose? I think I know, but I’d love to hear!

Are You Still Struggling?

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“The battle of life is, is in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.” – Samuel Smiles

Huuuuuuhhhhhh? I have to admit I used to believe in struggle. Although I didn’t realize it, I’d believed in struggle for years. Years. I would have some success and then find some way to screw it up to slow my progress. I would go forward, then back 4 steps, forward a few and keep repeating the cycle. It’s like I had to make things more difficult for myself then they needed to be. Have you ever done that?

What I didn’t get back in the day is that I bought into a really bad BELIEF about struggle. I thought things needed to be difficult and a struggle was necessary in order to achieve my ultimate goal(s). It’s a belief passed onto all of us from our environment; home, school, parents, jobs we’ve had, and other people around us, particularly in this business of show.

It’s a belief I see so often in the ‘starving artist’ community. Check this out:

You know that saying – ‘the rich get richer and the poor get poorer’? I’ve come to learn it’s true, but it’s only true because the poor have bought into the belief called struggle. Struggle is all about negativity. Struggle develops from a self image that doesn’t believe one’s worthiness to succeed. The rich know there is no struggle with regard to making money. If you haven’t already, I recommend highly that you read “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill to dig deeper into this subject. In fact I created a great seminar on the subject called “Think and Grow Rich Acting” so actors could see these hidden beliefs and blind spots, identify them, and release the struggle.

But what is the origin of all of this often expected, and mostly taken in stride struggle? It develops from a belief around one’s worthiness. Heck, we all want to succeed, but do you believe you will, and if so, what is that belief based on?

Do you realize there may be some ridiculously stupid belief you bought into years ago that’s holding you back today from your best self? Yes, someone said something, and you believed that in order to have what you really wanted, it would be hard, a struggle, and you might possibly NEVER get it. Like that huge acting career, with an awesome agent that leads to an Oscar and a bulging bank account? Can you have that?  Only if you believe you can.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” – Henry Ford 

So what’s the opposite of struggle?  Stay tuned for my next post…

Your Happiness, Part 2

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Happiness, by its very nature, encourages trust, spontaneity, optimism and enthusiasm. When you’re happy, you find that people instinctively gravitate to you and like you…and ALL of this on top of your great talent is a heavenly mix!

In my last message about happiness, I brought up the Law of Attraction as a big part of why successful actors are successful.  What I mean by that is, with a few notable exceptions, most “stars” or actors/artists/directors/industry players we admire, all got to the top because, by their very nature, they were happy to start with.  They inspire you to get to where they are.  Not because of what they have, but because of who they are.

But they ALL started exactly where you are right now, wherever that is on your journey.  How can I assume that they were happy first and then got the “goodies” i.e., fame, fortune, acknowledgement, Oscars/Emmys, great talent agents, money and more?  Because of how they speak about their beginnings and what it took, and still takes, to keep up the pace of being a successful actor/artist.

They don’t share the crap or the things they didn’t love that they had to do.  They didn’t say “I hated my first three agents” or “in the beginning I knew I knew more than that awful director I was working with” or “so-and-so is a total dweeb”.  No, they keep it light, tell only the good things about their journey and this is ON TV and OFF the air.  People who have “made it” are always speaking about how grateful, appreciative, and happy they are to be, do, and have the ability to act for a living.  You could do this too.  Hint:  you could start today and your life would look completely different by next week.

By the way, YOUR happiness is an inspiration to others. It’s a gift, just like your gift of talent. Everyone benefits from true happiness…everyone benefits from your happiness.

So let’s review. You want to be a successful actor? START WITH BEING HAPPY! How do you be happy? You let your natural, unconditioned, original self be revealed. You answer “How are you?” with words like “great!”, “so good the right words haven’t been invented to tell you”, and/or “do you have a few minutes so I can share the amazing 20 things that have happened to me today and it’s only 11am?”

Have a fabulous day…and always remember, speak your future into existence today! And be happy.

I welcome your positive, enlightened, and inspirational comments below.

Are Success and Happiness the Same?

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I don’t hear many actors talk specifically about happiness. I hear a lot of folks wanting success…but isn’t happiness what success is supposed to bring? Let’s take a good look at actors and happiness.

When you were young your parents taught you a lot. You had many conversations that shaped your upbringing, your values and beliefs. All parents want their children to be happy (of course!) but few parents actually talk about happiness or know how to teach it. Also, judging from our day to day conversations in our community with fellow actors on the set, in a class or workshop, at auditions, etc. it seems not many actors are “happy” with their career.  This is even more true when speaking about your talent agent.  Rarely do I hear how happy an actor is with their rep.

Their agent/manager isn’t getting them enough auditions; they didn’t get a call back; the director of the show picked someone else for the solo; the subway/bus/plane/traffic caused you to be late…and on and on and on.

“How are you?” we ask and are asked all day long when we greet one another. There could be 20 great things that happened to you that day and two “bad” things and yet what seems to get the air time? The complaints. It’s, dare I say it, normal. And that’s sad.

Even folks hoping to stay positive use phrases like “oh it could be worse”, “I’m still in it”, “okay”, “can’t complain” and the like. So what’s the point Lisa, you ask?

The point is this: You have the ability at every moment in time to have the words you use directly reflect AND shape your happiness. You were BORN to be happy. Happiness is natural. As a creative person, it suits you completely. You look good and you feel good when you allow your natural state of being to pour through you. Your step is light, your mind is free, and your spirit soars when you let happiness simply happen. The entire world responds to your happiness.

When you are truly happy you are radiant and highly functioning in life. And most of all you are loving, which is the essence of true happiness. You’re naturally kind, generous, open, warm, and friendly. The best part of BEING HAPPY is that there is no fear, no anxiety and no doubt. ALL things necessary for this career…and indeed your life!

When you’re happy you’re on point and on purpose. And you’re also very REAL. Authenticity is key for actors right? After all it’s impossible to be happy and play small, hide, or be defensive. It feels good. Happiness is also very attractive in that it literally attracts great things, people and projects to you!  That’s the LAW of Attraction, one of my favorite subjects! (more on the LOA in future posts…)

What are your thoughts?  Seem to good to be true?  What’s your opinion around having your speaking creating your happiness? Or what about drawing aligned people and projects to you simply because you are happy?  Feel free to respond and share.

 

Are You a Happy Artist?

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“The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.” Allen K. Chalmers

This quote sums up my personal prescription for happiness! The activities I participate in, from hanging out with my friends, to feeding my dogs, eating fine food, to writing these blog posts, are ALL the things that make up feeling good in my life. My hope for the coming weeks and the rest of this year is that I continue to build a community and a lifestyle that reflects my passions – working with creatives, playing with animals, building businesses and relationships and oh yeah, having F-U-N! The stuff I LOVE!

It is my greatest desire that in this and the next several posts on the subjects of happiness, success, feeling good and more, inform the more content filled “here’s what to do next” kind of posts I also enjoy writing.  To me, the WHY and the feelings behind doing what we’re doing is just as important, if not more, than the WHAT we accomplish, get, or manifest.  (Although I totally still want that stuff too!)

In this life and in particular, this career you’ve chosen, you’ll never have any lack of something to do. That’s what being creative is all about. When you combine your love of creating/acting/singing or what have you with a nice healthy dose of hope, I’m certain the months ahead will have you jumping for joy as you experience a new ease and flow around your pursuits.

One of the ways to have this happen is to practice observing your thoughts and feelings around the activities you’re engaging in.  Although I’d love to tell you to only do the things you “like”, there are often aspects of this business that are unlikeable.  The process here is to “check in” to see if you can create “liking” the things you do. This way some of the activities like auditioning, practicing, working on your website and the seemingly mundane tasks you know you need to do, the “to do” list…will begin to get done. HERE is the only place you actually have control. Your thinking is what creates your feelings and how you feel will determine your actions.  Do some of the things on your list, check in with how you feel, see that it’s better/easier/faster than you “thought” it was going to be, and then the next time you do these new things it WILL be better/easier and faster. For me things shifted greatly when I took my “to do” list and converted it to a “to feel” list!

What kinds of things could you do today for your career?  How about one or more of these? —

  • Add a credit or upload new pictures to your personal website and/or submission platform(s).
  • Begin learning a new monologue, song or other material for upcoming auditions.
  • Set a 30 minute timer and work on your accent reduction, dialects, cold-reading skill or other “tool” you need to work on.
  • Research a tv show, director, agency, or casting office to gain valuable insight/info for your database.
  • Enter information you’ve learned from your research into you contact database.
  • Look at your audition record, statistics and begin a plan to increase your numbers.
  • Discover and learn some of the technology you know you need to master to compete in the digital world
  • Make a list of contacts you’ve been wanting to reach out to.  From that list, begin writing to one, drafting your cover note.
  • Create a plan of action around your marketing list.

…and those are just a few examples of doing something around your career today that will impact your forward progress and results in the future.  Remember —

Thoughts = Feelings = Actions = Results

Staying positive and engaging in activities that make you FEEL happy and successful is KEY.  Tell me your thoughts on this post in the comments!