The Golden Rule of Your Career

Having confidence in yourself and that the path you’ve chosen is the Golden Rule in your career.  If you don’t have it, how can you expect your talent agent, a casting director or other industry players to have the confidence to hire and work with you?

We all have moments of doubt about whether we can truly achieve our dreams, hopes and goals, and that’s OK, but only for a moment! This can, and most likely does, happen in other areas besides your show biz career…your physical body and attractiveness to others, your ability to provide for your basic needs and for the needs of your family, and even simply having the confidence to speak the truth about a situation.

A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But true confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves.

True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has attributes embedded in it which are the hallmarks of the ability to reach your wildest dreams with speed, ease and power.

Want to build your confidence easily without struggle or effort? Practice confidence by giving and receiving acknowledgment. How to do that powerfully?  Take on this confidence affirming and fun exercise:

The next time you’re in public (at a class, audition, a store, walking down the street) and with someone who you don’t know, offer a genuine compliment.  “I love the color of your sweater.  You look great in it”.  Or, “great smile!” or “you have a great way of doing that”. Then just keep moving.  You’ll probably notice their attitude shift, sometimes “puffing up” with gratitude or even a stunned silence.  It doesn’t really matter which as you’re not doing it for the reaction, you’re doing it to offer your words and yourself authentically with confidence, expecting nothing in return.  Move on, feel good and let it go.

The other half of this exercise is to receive a compliment with confidence, offering nothing in return but a “thank you”.  The next time someone says “great scene work” or “I love the color of your sweater, you look great in it”.  Simply say “thank you” and move on, again, feeling confident and feeling good.  Why?  Too many people deflect compliments, making excuses like “oh, this old thing”? Or “it’s nothing”, or some other self-deprecating remark.  It actually steals the thunder of the person who offered the compliment. It undermines their confidence.

See both sides?  Practice this simple giving and receiving of compliments today, tomorrow and the rest of the week.  Without knowing how it works, by the end of the week your confidence will rise significantly.  Cool or cool?

I’d love to hear your comments here, especially after you’ve done this exercise!  Thanks for sharing your experience.  It’s truly inspiring!

2 replies
  1. Tom Kesolits (TJ)
    Tom Kesolits (TJ) says:

    I thoroughly agree with you. One problem I encounter is my wife maintains I always want attention. She does not really comprehend that as an actor/model and now movie producer, one needs to draw positive attention to ones self. I do agree the best way to do this is to compliment others in a genuine way. Don’t just give a compliment and let it drop, give a reason.

    • Lisa Gold
      Lisa Gold says:

      Hi TJ, thanks for your comment. Your wife, like many women, are keen observers and creative artists do require extra attention. For whom are we creating if not admirers, right? But there is that fine line between acknowledgement and ego and this is where I see a lot of folks miss the mark. It sounds like you have a great co-pilot on your daring adventure! Keep creating, observing and complimenting and receiving same. And most of all, have FUN!


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