Tag Archive for: Coaching

20 Signs You’re Succeeding At Your Career (Even If It Doesn’t Feel Like It)

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We’ve all had days, weeks, months and — for some — even years of dark times, stagnation and even depression over the state of our career. (There’s that TIME thing again!) Whether we fall into ruts of self-sabotage, loneliness, insecurity, or waning belief in our future, leading a happy, joyful life as an actor can sometimes feel like a fairy tale.  However, I’m here to let you know that just like dreams, fairy tales do come true!  Here’s how…

I often tell my ‘business of show’ students and coaching clients they’re doing soooo much better than they give themselves credit for. I can see it even if they can’t. It’s the old “can’t see the forest for the trees” analogy.

Most of us are so busy trying to dodge the bullets, grasping for any signs of progress, and looking for those outward results, that we forget to stop and appreciate the little victories along the way to our goals and dreams.  More on goals and goal setting in my next posts…

But for now, consider for a moment that you’re already doing a tremendous job. Living a life as an actor isn’t always an easy thing to do, but it can be most enjoyable when we start to see the good instead of focusing on the bad. (There’s that Law of Attracting thing again!)

You are actually living your career dreams already by recognizing these 20 signs:

1. Your relationships are less dramatic than they use to be. The drama is now mostly on the stage/set where it ought to be.

2. You may not have as much money as you want but you know and believe more is on the way. However, you’re not waiting to live a rich and abundant life NOW.

3. You’re no longer afraid to ask for help and support, thinking it is a sign of weakness. Instead you realize the juice of this business and you’re open to allowing someone to be a contribution on your journey.

4. Where you live feels like home. This means your actual living home and in your skin.

5. You’ve raised your standards. The bar is presently high and you’re setting it higher as you move forward.

6. You let go of things that don’t make you feel good. This could extend to people, experiences, and negative thinking. thumbs-up Feeling good is your top priority.

7. You have moments where you appreciate who you see in the mirror. Hey, it may not be all the time but when you recognize those moments, you grin from ear to ear with a pleasant knowingness.

8. You’re working on limiting your inner critic and consciously disavowing outer critics who are not out to serve your best interests. Bad reviews have nothing to do with you. Opinions are like…(you know what goes here!)

9. You’ve learned that setbacks and failure are part of career growth as well as self-growth. Fail your way to success. Correct and continue. There is no such thing as perfect.

10. You have a support system that includes people who would do anything for you. And that’s not by chance.

11. You hear “I love it”, “great job”, “wonderful effort” and “I love you” often, from family, friends, partners, and industry professionals.

12. You’ve acceptesuccess-girl in grassd what you can’t change, but are changing what you can’t accept. This tricky balancing act has become the norm.

13. You don’t complain as much, but instead focus on solutions. You recognize that you can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it and search for a different approach. You’ve also limited the complaints you’re willing to listen to. (Take special note if you work background…a breeding ground for complaints.)

14. You don’t blame your parents, and accept them for who they are. OK, though I’m not a therapist, this is the big one!

15. You’ve stopped caring about what others think of you. Ahem, I meant THIS is the big one. By not care, I mean you understand that what other’s think about you is none of your business. (For “how to” do that, check out an excellent book written by Terry Cole Whittaker that I highly recommend called  “What You Think of Me is None of my Business.”)

16. You can celebrate other actor’s successes and really be happy for them.

17. You have a true passion that you are pursuing. It’s not the fame, money or your ego that is driving you. You feel this passion more often than not.

18. You’re able to accept compliments without deflecting. When acknowledged for your acting prowess, singing skill, or for the way you’ve inspired someone through your artistic expression, you simply smile and say “thank you”.

19. You feel connected to your work both on and off the stage. Every part of your career, not just the actual craft of acting, is part of your passion.No fail

20. You have many goals that have come true. Finishing that acting program, having fresh new headshots to distribute and making that notoriously scowling casting director smile during your audition are things you had on your never ending “to do” list and they got DONE! Up next, getting an agent, a co-star role on a series, a big check…You don’t discount the previously met goals as insufficient to the ones not yet realized.

Look to this list of 20 in times of doubt and when you’re just not feelin’ it. Sometimes a few reminders of just how absolutely awesome your career IS going can make a huge difference.

Tweaked and significantly added to by Lisa Gold. Original base content from Shannon Kaiser of www.the-open-mind.com  

Law Of Attraction Quotes To Live By

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In the last several years I’ve become a believer, a fan, a follower of one of the natural laws of the Universe, the Law of Attraction.  As I delve into the concept, then take the tenants into practice, I can see the materialization or manifestation of my smallest desires to some of my largest goals realized.  What you focus on expands.

It’s pretty obvious to me I am not alone in this thinking.  Here are some well known “thought leaders” that have been inspiring you for years and their most famous quotes on the very powerful Law of Attraction.

My hope is that these quotes inspire you as they have me.  Read them slowly and savor!  As usual, I welcome your thoughts in the comment section below.

 

Every single second is an opportunity to change your life, because in any moment you can change the way you feel.
– Rhonda Byrne

You create your own universe as you go along.
– Winston Churchill

It is the combination of thought and love which forms the irresistible force of the law of attraction.
– Charles Hammel

See the things that you want as already yours. Know that they will come to you at need. Then let them come. Don’t fret and worry about them. Don’t think about your lack of them. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession.
– Robert Collier

What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.
– Mark 11:24

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.
– Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

All that we are is a result of what we have thought.
– Buddha

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.
– Albert Einstein

Whatever the mind can conceive it can achieve.
– W. Clement Stone

How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
– Anne Frank

Divine mind is the one and only reality.
– Charles Fillmore

Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way you are right.
– Henry Ford

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.
– Muhammad Ali

If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.
– Yogi Berra

To accomplish great things we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.
– Anatole France

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.
– Benjamin Disraeli

Nothing is, unless our thinking makes it so.
– Shakespeare

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.
– Helen Keller

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambition. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.
– Mark Twain

Those who think they have no time for bodily exercises will sooner or later have to find time for illness.
– Edward Stanley

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I attract to my life whatever I give my attention, energy and focus to, whether positive or negative.
– Michael Losier

That which is like unto itself is drawn.
– Jerry and Esther Hicks

What you radiate outward in your thoughts, feelings, mental pictures and words, you attract into your life.
– Catherine Ponder

Nothing external to me has any power over me.
– Walt Whitman

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
—Burton Hills

If you can dream it, you can do it.
– Walt Disney

Whatever you create in your life you must first create in your imagination.
– Tycho Photiou

The grateful mind is constantly fixated upon the best. Therefore it tends to become the best. It takes the form or character from the best, and will receive the best.”
– Wallace D.Wattles

Be thankful for what you have, you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never ever have enough.
– Oprah Winfrey

A person is what he or she thinks about all day long.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nurture great thoughts, for you will never go higher than your thoughts.
– Benjamin Disraeli

As soon as you start to feel differently about what you already have, you will start to attract more of the good things, more of the things you can be grateful for.
– Joe Vitale

Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true.
– Napoleon Hill

Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements.
– Napoleon Hill

Gratitude is an attitude that hooks us up to our source of supply. And the more grateful you are, the closer you become to your maker, to the architect of the universe, to the spiritual core of your being. It’s a phenomenal lesson.
– Bob Proctor

A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks he becomes.
– Gandhi

Everyone visualizes whether he knows it or not. Visualizing is the great secret of success.
– Genevieve Berhrend

I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.
– Michael Jordan

I have decided to be happy, because it’s good for my health.
– Voltaire

Every saint has a past and ever sinner has a future
– Oscar Wilde

A moment of gratitude makes a difference in your attitude
– Bruce Wilkinson

Learning is a gift. Even when pain is your teacher.
– Maya Watson

I can be changed by what happened to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.
– Maya Angelou

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
– Martin Luther King Jr.

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.
– Lady Blessington

All things are difficult before they are easy.
– Thomas Fuller

You are in the perfect position to get there from here.
– Abraham Hicks

Givers get given to.
– Russell Simmons

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
– Judy Garland

The entire universe is a great theatre of mirrors.
– Alice Bailey

Love everyone. Trust few. Paddle your own canoe.
– Anonymous

Criticism is something we can avoid easily
by saying nothing, doing nothing,
and being nothing.
– Aristotle

Genius is the ability to receive from the universe.
– I Ching

New Habits Over Time

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Unmade Bed

I started blogging in 2009 but started blogging regularly in 2017.  Before I was consistently inconsistent and I had results that mirrored that.  It took a long time to develop this habit, years actually, but I’ve learned a lot along the way and pass it on to you so you can cut down the time this habit building process takes.  And like Oprah says, the one thing I know for sure is that starting is the easy part.  It’s the continuing that gets a little tricky.

How do you think your career would be impacted if you mailed regularly to your database of contacts informing them on the status of your career?  What gigs could you be in the running for if you consistently informed the folks that have already seen your work and acknowledged they enjoyed what you do, that you are available?  What if you did this as a habit and not just once in a while when the mood strikes?  There’s the time it takes to create a habit and once you’re habitual, the time it takes to reach your desires shortens.  I like the thought of that, don’t you?

I’ve learned from many of my mentors, and from my own experience, that starting small so I can win at whatever I take on is the key, not only for me but for everyone.  Designing something that I will do every day, especially when I′ve never done it before ever, is a set up for upset.  Many folks give up right away if they miss a day, kind of like a going off a diet.  They just simply quit.  But if you′re really committed, each day is a new day that provides an opportunity to begin again.  My commitment is to add to this blog a minimum of 6 to 8 times a month.  Just so its “out there”!

Anything new that we as actors want to include in our daily lives is going to be tough at first.  It takes time, right?  Where will you fit it in?  Did you read my last post?  Hint…the strategy there works!  Writing follow ups to meetings, sending headshots to prospective new agents, researching the casting directors of the shows we want to be in it is soooo easy to NOT do.  Saying we want to do these things, planning them, that’s all good.  However being in ACTion and having it become habitual is where the real juice lies and momentum takes over.

I recommend beginning the process of consciously creating new habits with something easy.  Tasks like making the bed every day at first may seem like a real chore.  Then with time, it′s almost just part of the daily activities and feels weird if it isn′t done.  It becomes missing from the routine.  Flossing, wiping the sink out after washing dishes, putting the lid down on the toilet seat are all good, small tasks you can begin with. Your process of consciously building habits is great to test out your new skill set with these simple household chores. 

My advice to any actors out there who have big dreams is to keep the faith and take small, consistent, habitual, winnable steps toward your goals.  New habits, done consistently over time equals success.

Keep the faith!  Having that faith is an amazing quality and I love being in this community where faced with rejection more than acceptance, we keep that faith in place.

If you want some help being consistent in your ACTions, then join us every Monday for a great structure of support – Massive Action Mondays! (It’s part of The Gold Standard, but you can also participate separately).

Your “Never Ending” To Do List

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“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they are great and noble.”   Helen Keller

I love this quote and I love who it came from.  One of my FAVORITE things to do is cross things off my to do list.  And I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who sometimes can get completely STOPPED because of the feeling of overwhelm.

In my last post I talked about the Time Trap and the desire of most actors to get what they want, like yesterday!  But if you’re anything like me, things are added daily to my never ending list that can often make my goals and dreams seem very far off indeed.  It’s an illusion of course and I’ve since gained a new perspective.

My perspective shifted greatly once I noticed a recurring theme with many of my coaching clients, that though progress is being made, it’s often overwhelming taking on new things and deciding what to do with what seems an expanding “to do” list.  Where to start, what to leave out, what’s a priority…how to fit it all in?

So I’ve got a really cool strategy for you that will make a HUGE difference, especially if you are one of the folks that have not been able to keep up with the “building” over time of performing multiple tasks.  This strategy will bring you focus and clarity on what to do, and more importantly what not to do.

Make a “to do” list.  EVERYTHING you have to do both personal and professional.  Things like: Make an appointment for the dentist; clean the bathroom; call 3 photographers, make appointments, choose one; wash the dog/car/clothes; write 5 postcards, travel to Australia, buy a Birthday card for Tom.  Call Joan about dinner on Tuesday.  Go on Actors Access and submit for some great auditions.  Pay bills.  Sign up for The Gold Standard (ha!, had to slip that one in!)

Everything goes on the list.  This will probably take at least 15 to 30 minutes or longer.  Then when you’ve emptied your brain of all that you have to do, more things will come up if you stay in silence and let them come.  Then write those things down too!

Next, divide this one huge list into 3 smaller lists:  The things you are never doing (at least right now), the things you are not doing (at least right now…this time frame being not within the next 4 to 6 weeks) and the things you are doing now.

The never doing now list contains items that if they never, ever got done, will not affect your life and goals in an adverse way…yet you may someday still want to do them.  For example, travel to Australia or re-paint the bathroom.

The not doing now list contains things that are definitely needed and wanted to accomplish, but again, won’t adversely affect you life or goals if they don’t happen outside of 4-6 weeks from now.

That leaves the “to do” list…things that if not attended to within the next month to 6 weeks, will adversely affect your life and goals.  These items should then be scheduled…actually pick a time and date and put them into your calendar.

So the things you’re doing now get put into your schedule, to be moved around if need be due to auditions, other opportunities, etc. but then get rescheduled, got it?

Once they are in your calendar/schedule you will have a clearer picture of accomplishing the things that are directly related to what you say you want.  For some this will be a huge accomplishment and breakthrough, for others, a review.  Either way, do it please!

“What you resist persists” – Anonymous

By the way, if you don’t use a calendar or schedule of some kind to keep track…GET ONE.  Honestly, you’re life will become much more manageable when you keep track of your appointments (especially the ones you make with yourself!)  Get started today.  It’s not too late, in fact, we have an opportunity to start newly every day

Enjoy marking those things off the list!  Ahhhhh, feels GOOD!

As usual, I’d love your comments or perhaps you have some tips about time you could share with the community.  Write them below now…don’t put this “to do” on your list!