Practicing Happiness

Practice makes perfect, right? Wrong!

First of all, nothing’s ever perfect. I’d even say you don’t really want anything to be “perfect.” Why not? Well, once you’ve reached perfection, where else is there to go but backwards or, even worse, nowhere?

No, the point of practice isn’t perfection. We want to strive for perfection, yes, but that’s only going to work if you understand that it’s not just about the destination but the journey as well. That’s why it helps to look at the process when it comes to those outcomes we’re reaching for. Because what would be the point of getting to where you always wanted to be if you’re beat up and worn out by the time you get there? Where’s the happiness in that?

Happiness is a process as much as an outcome. Don’t get me wrong – a hard-earned victory is awesome. But think about it; should happiness in life be restricted to success in finances, or business, or career, or the attainment of goals?

We have all been there at some point in our acting career, saying something like, “If only I had [fill in the blank], I’d be so much happier.” Hey, sometimes we may even get whatever it is we think will make us happy, but what usually ends up happening? We’re psyched for a little while—if at all—and then we find out it wasn’t really enough to make us as happy as we thought it would. There’s always more.

You can work your butt off to get to where you want to be by practicing.  Practicing your monologues, your on-camera audition technique, your marketing and networking strategies—you can practice many things until you get them down, but that doesn’t mean things are always going to turn out perfectly. Practice doesn’t make perfect.

Our business of show is DESIGNED for the striving and not the arriving.  Take a look at this:  You do a mailing to get an agent and get called in, but they don’t take you on.  You finally get an agent, and after a while you don’t get as many of, or the kind of auditions you’d like so now you want a new agent.  You get the audition, but not the call back.  You get the call back but not the part.  You get the part, then your part is cut.  You get the part and the show goes to Broadway, but you’ve been replaced by a “star”.  You get an awesome role in a movie, but you end up on the cutting room floor.  Your movie is finally produced and your role in it is Oscar worthy, and the film goes straight to video.  You get that Oscar nomination, but don’t win.  You win the Oscar, but still have to audition for your next movie.  (Hugh Jackman had to audition for the recently nominated Les Miserables – did you know that?)

Practice becomes habit, and habits become permanent unless we consciously change them. We’re practicing something all the time through our habits, even when we’re not really thinking about it. If you practice the thought that “I’ll be happy when [fill in the blank] happens,” then guess what? You’re always delaying your happiness until [fill in the bank] happens. Not because things will never be great, but because you’ve become a master at being unhappy. Unhappiness will be your habit!

You have to practice being happy no matter what is going on in your career and in your life in general; whether you win or lose, succeed or experience temporary setbacks, whether everything is the way you have always dreamed or if you are still on the road to your next major destination.

Practice whatever you want to be in the future now. I had a wonderful conversation just today with a coaching client who said she is changing the way she sees herself from wanting to be a working actor to being an active actor.  This makes her happy…when she is doing something for her career, even in small increments, and not waiting for the “outcome” to delay her happiness, she is really enjoying herself NOW.

The key is to enjoy the process and the journey. We can have moments of perfection, times where we wouldn’t want a single thing to change.  Usually you think it’s only available when you are up there on that stage but believe it or not, happiness can occur just as easily doing computer research on the industry or putting together a contact list. It’s totally within our control to practice being happy doing whatever we are doing right now!

So now it’s your turn:  What are you going to practice right now?  What’s that one thing you want to achieve and are willing to enjoy the process while making it a habit?  I’d love to hear your comments!