New Habits Over Time

Unmade Bed

I started blogging in 2009 but started blogging regularly in 2017.  Before I was consistently inconsistent and I had results that mirrored that.  It took a long time to develop this habit, years actually, but I’ve learned a lot along the way and pass it on to you so you can cut down the time this habit building process takes.  And like Oprah says, the one thing I know for sure is that starting is the easy part.  It’s the continuing that gets a little tricky.

How do you think your career would be impacted if you mailed regularly to your database of contacts informing them on the status of your career?  What gigs could you be in the running for if you consistently informed the folks that have already seen your work and acknowledged they enjoyed what you do, that you are available?  What if you did this as a habit and not just once in a while when the mood strikes?  There’s the time it takes to create a habit and once you’re habitual, the time it takes to reach your desires shortens.  I like the thought of that, don’t you?

I’ve learned from many of my mentors, and from my own experience, that starting small so I can win at whatever I take on is the key, not only for me but for everyone.  Designing something that I will do every day, especially when I′ve never done it before ever, is a set up for upset.  Many folks give up right away if they miss a day, kind of like a going off a diet.  They just simply quit.  But if you′re really committed, each day is a new day that provides an opportunity to begin again.  My commitment is to add to this blog a minimum of 6 to 8 times a month.  Just so its “out there”!

Anything new that we as actors want to include in our daily lives is going to be tough at first.  It takes time, right?  Where will you fit it in?  Did you read my last post?  Hint…the strategy there works!  Writing follow ups to meetings, sending headshots to prospective new agents, researching the casting directors of the shows we want to be in it is soooo easy to NOT do.  Saying we want to do these things, planning them, that’s all good.  However being in ACTion and having it become habitual is where the real juice lies and momentum takes over.

I recommend beginning the process of consciously creating new habits with something easy.  Tasks like making the bed every day at first may seem like a real chore.  Then with time, it′s almost just part of the daily activities and feels weird if it isn′t done.  It becomes missing from the routine.  Flossing, wiping the sink out after washing dishes, putting the lid down on the toilet seat are all good, small tasks you can begin with. Your process of consciously building habits is great to test out your new skill set with these simple household chores. 

My advice to any actors out there who have big dreams is to keep the faith and take small, consistent, habitual, winnable steps toward your goals.  New habits, done consistently over time equals success.

Keep the faith!  Having that faith is an amazing quality and I love being in this community where faced with rejection more than acceptance, we keep that faith in place.

If you want some help being consistent in your ACTions, then join us every Monday for a great structure of support – Massive Action Mondays! (It’s part of The Gold Standard, but you can also participate separately).

Your “Never Ending” To Do List

Yellow_To_Do_List2

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they are great and noble.”   Helen Keller

I love this quote and I love who it came from.  One of my FAVORITE things to do is cross things off my to do list.  And I’m sure I’m not the only person in the world who sometimes can get completely STOPPED because of the feeling of overwhelm.

In my last post I talked about the Time Trap and the desire of most actors to get what they want, like yesterday!  But if you’re anything like me, things are added daily to my never ending list that can often make my goals and dreams seem very far off indeed.  It’s an illusion of course and I’ve since gained a new perspective.

My perspective shifted greatly once I noticed a recurring theme with many of my coaching clients, that though progress is being made, it’s often overwhelming taking on new things and deciding what to do with what seems an expanding “to do” list.  Where to start, what to leave out, what’s a priority…how to fit it all in?

So I’ve got a really cool strategy for you that will make a HUGE difference, especially if you are one of the folks that have not been able to keep up with the “building” over time of performing multiple tasks.  This strategy will bring you focus and clarity on what to do, and more importantly what not to do.

Make a “to do” list.  EVERYTHING you have to do both personal and professional.  Things like: Make an appointment for the dentist; clean the bathroom; call 3 photographers, make appointments, choose one; wash the dog/car/clothes; write 5 postcards, travel to Australia, buy a Birthday card for Tom.  Call Joan about dinner on Tuesday.  Go on Actors Access and submit for some great auditions.  Pay bills.  Sign up for The Gold Standard (ha!, had to slip that one in!)

Everything goes on the list.  This will probably take at least 15 to 30 minutes or longer.  Then when you’ve emptied your brain of all that you have to do, more things will come up if you stay in silence and let them come.  Then write those things down too!

Next, divide this one huge list into 3 smaller lists:  The things you are never doing (at least right now), the things you are not doing (at least right now…this time frame being not within the next 4 to 6 weeks) and the things you are doing now.

The never doing now list contains items that if they never, ever got done, will not affect your life and goals in an adverse way…yet you may someday still want to do them.  For example, travel to Australia or re-paint the bathroom.

The not doing now list contains things that are definitely needed and wanted to accomplish, but again, won’t adversely affect you life or goals if they don’t happen outside of 4-6 weeks from now.

That leaves the “to do” list…things that if not attended to within the next month to 6 weeks, will adversely affect your life and goals.  These items should then be scheduled…actually pick a time and date and put them into your calendar.

So the things you’re doing now get put into your schedule, to be moved around if need be due to auditions, other opportunities, etc. but then get rescheduled, got it?

Once they are in your calendar/schedule you will have a clearer picture of accomplishing the things that are directly related to what you say you want.  For some this will be a huge accomplishment and breakthrough, for others, a review.  Either way, do it please!

“What you resist persists” – Anonymous

By the way, if you don’t use a calendar or schedule of some kind to keep track…GET ONE.  Honestly, you’re life will become much more manageable when you keep track of your appointments (especially the ones you make with yourself!)  Get started today.  It’s not too late, in fact, we have an opportunity to start newly every day

Enjoy marking those things off the list!  Ahhhhh, feels GOOD!

As usual, I’d love your comments or perhaps you have some tips about time you could share with the community.  Write them below now…don’t put this “to do” on your list!

Creating Your Ultimate Career – The Time Trap

Have you CREATED your ultimate career yet?

The biggest reason any actor’s inability in creating the career of their dreams is simple.  I call it the Time Trap.

First of all, let me ask you this:  Why do you want it to happen so FAST?  What’s that expression? “Half the fun is getting there!” – It doesn’t seem to apply to our actor community.  Maybe it’s the society we live in but we all seem to want a microwave career.  Everyone is always in such a hurry!

Creating the career of your dreams – out there in the future, requires that you understand that your dreams are already in existence right now.  Yeah, I hear your inner voice shouting, “But it doesn’t exist the way I want it to yet!” — your inner voice is LOUD!

There  you are stuck in the Time Trap with a part of you canceling the work that you’ve already done to achieve where you already are, which if you look is pretty significant…but that doesn’t count, right?  The Time Trap also seems to cancel out the upcoming ACTions still needed in order to get to the next goal or milepost because you most likely haven’t created them yet or even know what they are…you just want it all to be different than it is right now, which is insufficient.

No wonder so many actors never achieve their ultimate career dreams.  Remember statistics say that 97% of professional actors leave the business withing 3 years of getting into it!

I want to share with you a quote from Esther Hicks of Abraham-Hicks, a spiritual leader/teacher of mine, who teaches this premise around time and getting what you want.  Please read what follows slowly, without distraction, and let it sink in.  It truly can and will change your point of view about the time it takes to have a successful career:

If you are willing to let your improved emotional state be the evidence of your progress, then the progress will continue; you will continue to feel even better, and the tipping point will come where physical evidence can be seen.

But if you look too soon for the evidence, and you do not yet find it, you will lose ground. The need to see the immediate evidence of progress is the most significant hindrance to most people. When you attempt to take score of your progress too soon, you move further from the results you seek.

There is no desire that you hold that is for any other reason than you believe you would feel better in the having of it. Whether it is a material object, a pile of money, a relationship, or a physical state of being, every desire is wanted because you want to feel better.

When you discover the power of feeling better first, by the deliberate focusing of your mind away from problems, struggles, irritants , and any other manner of unwanted things and focus your mind upon the simplicity of even your own breathing, you will have found the key to the power of allowing. And allowing is the answer to all that you seek.”

I shared this life lesson with you because in my own life I have found that if I pay attention to how I feel first as the most primary importance of my focus, the stuff I want comes to me faster.  I’ve figured out how to get out and stay out of the Time Trap…and I hope you do too!

I’ll be posting more about TIME and how it affects the way we move through our career, feelings of overwhelm, how to manage all of the details of the balance of career aspirations and family life in upcoming posts.

I’m grateful to you dear reader and welcome any comments you have on the subject below.

5 Big Mistakes You Can Easily Avoid

In my last post I began to discuss mistakes and fear.  Mainly fear of making mistakes!  However it’s inevitable you’re going to make them, so fear not.  However there are some mistakes that you can easily avoid that will make a HUGE difference in speeding up the path to your dreams and goals as an actor.  So whoop, there they are:

MISTAKE 1:  CONFUSING HOPE FOR GOALS

We all have hopes for our career, deep desires for our future life, and what we yearn to see happen. It feels good to dream and imagine. But sometimes we let the good feeling that comes from expressing our hopes get in the way of working to see them realized. Very typical of artists.

This happens two ways:

  1. We don’t know the difference between a hope and a goal. A goal has a certain kind of anatomy that gives hope structure. We’re too often satisfied by the feeling we have and think our hope is strong enough to stand on its own. But it’s not.  I mean I love good feelings and preach a lot about finding that satisfying place, however it’s the specific features of well constructed goals that enable our hopes to come to life.  It’s the ACTion part of the formula for success.
  2. We’re not disciplined enough to either do the work of constructing good goals in the first place or to see them through.  We let the hope suffice for now, resigned to the frustration we’ll feel later. I can’t imagine ever doing that anymore.  My hopes are too important for that.  I’ll bet yours are too.

MISTAKE 2:  NOT CONNECTING TO “THE WHY”

The real issue here is that we are not consistently connected to our “why” which is the biggest cause of a gap between our choices today and our results tomorrow.  One thing research has taught us is that stagnation and very few results happens mainly because we don’t connect to our future selves. If we have a desire for our career but don’t see our future self as the product of the choices we’re making right now then it’s easier to put off the marketing efforts, open call audition, (insert yours here), till tomorrow or skip it entirely.

When we can connect to our “why”, we can see the connection between our future reality and our present decisions. That means it is vital to establish goals where we have a strong emotional connection to the outcome. We have to connect our ACTions today to the payoff tomorrow.

MISTAKE 3:  BELIEVING THE NEGATIVE LABELS

You’ve heard the statistics: Most people who set a New Year’s resolution blow it year after year (me included by the way, which is why I’ve stopped that nonsense!) There are lots of negative consequences to this yearly disappointment but one is setting up the rest of the year based on failure, which then dampens our sense of what’s possible.

The more we fail, the easier it is to label ourselves as someone who can’t win. Just as bad, we sometimes let others do that job for us. But don’t believe it. We all have hardships, setbacks, and challenges. We all have things that didn’t go so well in the past. So here’s the reality…

Negative labels are just an interpretation of the past. You’re free to interpret the past differently at any time you choose. You’re also free to see it as one chapter, not the entire story. As far as I know, the only person who can’t win at the acting game is the one who lets these negative labels determine their present, which in turn, predicts the future. It’s that “rat on a wheel” and “stuck in a rut” space.  Many actors are all too familiar with this.

MISTAKE 4:  LETTING OTHER THINGS TAKE PRIORITY

This has always been a tough one for me because I want to do soooo many things in life and many of my creative coaching clients face the same situation. However if being a sought after, highly paid actor is one of your goals, you’ll need to make this particular goal a priority.

But just because you declare it a priority doesn’t mean it IS one or your only one. The next mistake we make is not recognizing our unspoken priorities. We have many things competing for our attention and time and some of these are extremely important.  If we don’t get clear about these, and a myriad of other daily details and where they fit, it’s almost certain we will sabotage our attempts to achieve our dreams. “Life” gets in the way.

This is doubly true for one of my least favorite priority distractions— procrastination, which is just a competing time claim that has no real or inherent value. It makes sense to organize our efforts around a regular date night, but not Candy Crush, which in late night hours I have been guilty of playing, losing sleep, and thus causing a back log of attaining my goals the following day! But now I get back on track quickly. My priorities, and realizing I’m not perfect but committed, is the key!

MISTAKE 5:  NOT BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

Here’s the one I think is probably the most important. We tend to experience what we expect. If we expect to fail, or even have this lingering doubt, we’ll likely fail. If we expect to win, we’ll likely win. Why? I’m sure you’ve heard the term “self-fulfilling prophecy.” The idea is that our predictions and expectations direct our actions, even if we’re not aware of it.

Someone who thinks they can’t achieve a goal, or that it’s super hard to achieve, is the kind of person who will give up more quickly. And at the same time, someone who believes they can achieve a thing they’ve set their mind to is more likely to see opportunities where others don’t, more likely to work a little harder when it counts, and more likely to persevere when others quit.

There’s no guarantee you’ll accomplish everything you desire, but there are several things you can do to dramatically improve your odds. This includes taking the right steps, but it also includes avoiding the bad ones.

So there you have it. I am convinced you can shortcut a lot of time and trouble by avoiding these top five mistakes!

Please let me know your thoughts in the comment section below.  Thanks!