People often ask me, “what is the most effective technique for transforming my career quickly?” OK the truth is, they don’t really ask this exact question but the bottom line is that what they mostly want to know is how to get what they want in this biz faster and easier.

Well I gotta say that after years and years of research, my best answer is to just be a little kinder. What? Huh? No seminar or course or pathway or step by step plan to follow? Bummer. Not really. It’s a lot easier than you think.

This is the paradox of the power of kindness. It doesn’t feel powerful at all. In fact, it almost feels too simple to be important. It’s actually the #1 thing that can transform your career and indeed your entire life. And in the business of show, I say it’s a secret weapon to get where you want in your career faster and with ease.

How can that be? Because simply put, kindness is the foundation of a good heart and with a good heart…a good life will follow. You are a giver of gifts in the form of your talent, but if your good heart isn’t in it, I fear you have a tough climb ahead.

Have you ever practiced random acts of kindness? It was a big thing awhile back and I started this practice when it was a trendy and loved it so much it’s now a part of my everyday existence. Try it!

Buy a movie ticket pass and give it to the girl that makes your coffee at Starbucks. Take out your neighbor lady’s trash. Take that flyer from the guy on the corner with a big smile and a thank you instead of charging by with your head down. Pick up the garbage someone just tossed at the can ahead of you and missed. Keep some quarters handy to put in people’s expiring parking meters. My personal favorite is to clean a public bathroom I’m using by picking up toilet paper and paper towels off the floor and putting them in the trash where they belong or mopping up water around the sink.

Practice kindness toward others, but don’t leave yourself out! Take a bubble bath. Buy yourself some fresh flowers. Get that doo dad or gadget that you’ve been wanting but denying yourself for whatever reason.

But how does simply being kind impact your career so that your transformation from talented unknown to rising star happens gracefully and easily? How can it not? This is a business built on relationships where it’s all about who you know and who knows you. Creatives want to work with people they not only know, but also like, trust and who are genuinely nice. It’s pretty simple really. Just be kind!

Having confidence in yourself and that the path you’ve chosen is the Golden Rule in your career.  If you don’t have it, how can you expect your talent agent, a casting director or other industry players to have the confidence to hire and work with you?

We all have moments of doubt about whether we can truly achieve our dreams, hopes and goals, and that’s OK, but only for a moment! This can, and most likely does, happen in other areas besides your show biz career…your physical body and attractiveness to others, your ability to provide for your basic needs and for the needs of your family, and even simply having the confidence to speak the truth about a situation.

A lot of people might believe they are confident, depending on how they feel on any given day. But true confidence is not a fleeting thing that is here today and takes a holiday tomorrow. Confidence is all pervasive. It shows itself in every aspect of our lives: the way we view ourselves, perceive our world, approach crises, the way we treat others, our readiness to exercise compassion and forgiveness, and, most important, the way we treat ourselves.

True confidence is an incredible feeling because it has attributes embedded in it which are the hallmarks of the ability to reach your wildest dreams with speed, ease and power.

Want to build your confidence easily without struggle or effort? Practice confidence by giving and receiving acknowledgment. How to do that powerfully?  Take on this confidence affirming and fun exercise:

The next time you’re in public (at a class, audition, a store, walking down the street) and with someone who you don’t know, offer a genuine compliment.  “I love the color of your sweater.  You look great in it”.  Or, “great smile!” or “you have a great way of doing that”. Then just keep moving.  You’ll probably notice their attitude shift, sometimes “puffing up” with gratitude or even a stunned silence.  It doesn’t really matter which as you’re not doing it for the reaction, you’re doing it to offer your words and yourself authentically with confidence, expecting nothing in return.  Move on, feel good and let it go.

The other half of this exercise is to receive a compliment with confidence, offering nothing in return but a “thank you”.  The next time someone says “great scene work” or “I love the color of your sweater, you look great in it”.  Simply say “thank you” and move on, again, feeling confident and feeling good.  Why?  Too many people deflect compliments, making excuses like “oh, this old thing”? Or “it’s nothing”, or some other self-deprecating remark.  It actually steals the thunder of the person who offered the compliment. It undermines their confidence.

See both sides?  Practice this simple giving and receiving of compliments today, tomorrow and the rest of the week.  Without knowing how it works, by the end of the week your confidence will rise significantly.  Cool or cool?

I’d love to hear your comments here, especially after you’ve done this exercise!  Thanks for sharing your experience.  It’s truly inspiring!

“The battle of life is, is in most cases, fought uphill; and to win it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be achieved.” – Samuel Smiles

Huuuuuuhhhhhh? I have to admit I used to believe in struggle. Although I didn’t realize it, I’d believed in struggle for years. Years. I would have some success and then find some way to screw it up to slow my progress. I would go forward, then back 4 steps, forward a few and keep repeating the cycle. It’s like I had to make things more difficult for myself then they needed to be. Have you ever done that?

What I didn’t get back in the day is that I bought into a really bad BELIEF about struggle. I thought things needed to be difficult and a struggle was necessary in order to achieve my ultimate goal(s). It’s a belief passed onto all of us from our environment; home, school, parents, jobs we’ve had, and other people around us, particularly in this business of show.

It’s a belief I see so often in the ‘starving artist’ community. Check this out:

You know that saying – ‘the rich get richer and the poor get poorer’? I’ve come to learn it’s true, but it’s only true because the poor have bought into the belief called struggle. Struggle is all about negativity. Struggle develops from a self image that doesn’t believe one’s worthiness to succeed. The rich know there is no struggle with regard to making money. If you haven’t already, I recommend highly that you read “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill to dig deeper into this subject. In fact I created a great seminar on the subject called “Think and Grow Rich Acting” so actors could see these hidden beliefs and blind spots, identify them, and release the struggle.

But what is the origin of all of this often expected, and mostly taken in stride struggle? It develops from a belief around one’s worthiness. Heck, we all want to succeed, but do you believe you will, and if so, what is that belief based on?

Do you realize there may be some ridiculously stupid belief you bought into years ago that’s holding you back today from your best self? Yes, someone said something, and you believed that in order to have what you really wanted, it would be hard, a struggle, and you might possibly NEVER get it. Like that huge acting career, with an awesome agent that leads to an Oscar and a bulging bank account? Can you have that?  Only if you believe you can.

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.” – Henry Ford 

So what’s the opposite of struggle?  Stay tuned for my next post…

I don’t hear many actors talk specifically about happiness. I hear a lot of folks wanting success…but isn’t happiness what success is supposed to bring? Let’s take a good look at actors and happiness.

When you were young your parents taught you a lot. You had many conversations that shaped your upbringing, your values and beliefs. All parents want their children to be happy (of course!) but few parents actually talk about happiness or know how to teach it. Also, judging from our day to day conversations in our community with fellow actors on the set, in a class or workshop, at auditions, etc. it seems not many actors are “happy” with their career.  This is even more true when speaking about your talent agent.  Rarely do I hear how happy an actor is with their rep.

Their agent/manager isn’t getting them enough auditions; they didn’t get a call back; the director of the show picked someone else for the solo; the subway/bus/plane/traffic caused you to be late…and on and on and on.

“How are you?” we ask and are asked all day long when we greet one another. There could be 20 great things that happened to you that day and two “bad” things and yet what seems to get the air time? The complaints. It’s, dare I say it, normal. And that’s sad.

Even folks hoping to stay positive use phrases like “oh it could be worse”, “I’m still in it”, “okay”, “can’t complain” and the like. So what’s the point Lisa, you ask?

The point is this: You have the ability at every moment in time to have the words you use directly reflect AND shape your happiness. You were BORN to be happy. Happiness is natural. As a creative person, it suits you completely. You look good and you feel good when you allow your natural state of being to pour through you. Your step is light, your mind is free, and your spirit soars when you let happiness simply happen. The entire world responds to your happiness.

When you are truly happy you are radiant and highly functioning in life. And most of all you are loving, which is the essence of true happiness. You’re naturally kind, generous, open, warm, and friendly. The best part of BEING HAPPY is that there is no fear, no anxiety and no doubt. ALL things necessary for this career…and indeed your life!

When you’re happy you’re on point and on purpose. And you’re also very REAL. Authenticity is key for actors right? After all it’s impossible to be happy and play small, hide, or be defensive. It feels good. Happiness is also very attractive in that it literally attracts great things, people and projects to you!  That’s the LAW of Attraction, one of my favorite subjects! (more on the LOA in future posts…)

What are your thoughts?  Seem to good to be true?  What’s your opinion around having your speaking creating your happiness? Or what about drawing aligned people and projects to you simply because you are happy?  Feel free to respond and share.

 

I’ve used the term “Success” in a few of my recent posts.  I’d like to clarify what I mean by success.  To me, success is in your THINKING.

While most people look at their bank accounts, homes, clothes, awards and acknowledgements, having an agent or other “outward” symbols or signs that show they are a success, I have a personal experience of success defined by the way I feel on a daily and on-going basis.

I know many people, actors and others, who have an abundance of the aforementioned things in their lives, who are extremely unhappy, have struggles in their relationships and are on Prozac or other anit-depressants.  Conversely, I also know folks who live paycheck to paycheck, share an apartment with 4 other people, no car, no savings, no agent, no visible “stuff” to be admired and yet they are happy and know and believe that what they are working on or towards is inevitable.  Hummmmm.

Success is in your thinking.  And what you think is what informs how you feel.

It’s my humble opinion that the outward signs of success (that “stuff” again) are wanted only for the simple reason that once they are obtained, you’ll FEEL good!  And that feeling is success.  Hummmmm?

Well here’s the good news.  You can feel successful right NOW, without the stuff… and you know what?  Once you’ve figured out how to do that, the “stuff” will come faster!  How’s that for a mind-bender?

Here’s my list of the 7 Habits of Highly Successful Actors…and in my next several posts, I hope you’ll continue to read more and take a closer look with me into how your mindset will make or break you in this biz.

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS NEVER STOP MARKETING

Be consistent and mechanical = no stop and start
(Out of site out of mind…it’s TRUE)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS ARE ALWAYS NETWORKING

Hang out with other enthusiastic actors, participate in positivity
(Get out of your house, move away from the computer!)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS ARE ALWAYS IN AN ACTING CLASS

Have a continued appreciation for the craft and other actor’s work
(If you’re not growing, you’re dying – there’s no in between)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS DO THEIR HOMEWORK

Study, research and KNOW who the players are in this industry
(Names of people and projects, box office gross, deals and more)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS KEEP A POSITIVE MINDSET

Speak and think WELL of yourself and others ALWAYS
(Kill off the negative little voice in your head)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS ARE ORGANIZED, ON TIME, AND RESPECTFUL OF OTHERS

Have integrity in EVERYTHING you do
(Not the moral kind, the NOT cutting corners kind)

SUCCESSFUL ACTORS HAVE BOTH ARTISTIC AND FINANCIAL GOALS

Have a PLAN for your day, week, month, and year in advance
– with room for adjustments, but committing to accomplishing them
(Most actors don’t plan to fail – they fail to plan)

If some of the above sounds repetitive, GOOD!  It’s meant to be.  I’ll keep on saying the same things over and over and over and over again until it sinks in.  If it’s already in, then it’s time to apply it.  If you’ve already applied it, it’s time to keep consistent with what works.  And rinse and repeat and never give up!

I’d love to hear your comments on what success means to you!